Watch Madonna Make Her Stand-Up Comedy Debut And Perform “Bitch I’m Madonna” With Diplo On Fallon

Last night Madonna appeared on Jimmy Fallon to perform her new Nicki-Minaj co-signed Rebel Heart single “Bitch I’m Madonna.” She was decked out in bling, chains, and thigh-high fishnets for the appearance, and even enlisted Diplo, starting the song backstage in the dressing rooms and then bringing it out to the floor. In the process a kid with a skateboard and a security guard both lip synced “Bitch, I’m Madonna,” which was a highlight. She also grabbed a random dude from the audience and, uh, danced with him… aka shoved his face in her crotch. However, the fact that she can dance like she this at 56 is practically a superhuman feat, and I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the performance — even if I’m not a fan of the grills she appears to be wearing.

But this is Madonna; she can’t be relegated to a single performance! She also made her “stand-up comedy debut” and told a few jokes about dating younger men.



And finally, the Roots and Jimmy Fallon helped her perform a kooky version of “Holiday” on classroom instruments:

Jimmy Fallon, Madonna & The Roots Sing "Holiday" (w/ Classroom Instruments)

Meet Pharrell & Jimmy Fallon’s Fake ’80s Duo "Afro & Deziak"

Sometimes it seems like Jimmy Fallon is secretly gunning for a career in music. Between his killer Neil Young impression and all his experience with various other fake collabs, he’d probably be pretty good at it. But then of course, we’d be robbed of his incredible punning power. The latest comes courtesy of Pharrell’s appearance on his show as half of his fake R&B duo “Afro & Deziak.” Truly, this is one of the best puns of our time! It combines sex and hair into one spectacular name that actually sounds like it could’ve been a group in the ’80s. The two don sparkly, ill-fitting bathrobes, and though Pharrell’s singing is as flawless as always, it’s Fallon’s punchlines that make this so fun to watch. Plus, instead of singing about romantic stuff they cover all the annoying shit that crummy dudes might ask women to do for them. It’s almost misandrist, but it’s certainly cathartic. Now all that’s left is choosing a favorite between “Girl Can I Get You In The Mood,” “Girl I Wanna Give You What I Got,” and “Girl.” It’s a tough call.